A man I really admire named Jeffrey Holland said, “…the only real control in life is self control.”
I couldn’t agree more. You can control the settings on your computer, and control the television choices that come into your home. You can control all the things on your Family Standard and you can control what your family eats for dinner, but you can’t control another person. No matter how hard you try and how much power you try to look like you have, the only person you can control is yourself.
Since that is the case, we should capitalize on that power we have to control ourselves, or govern ourselves. If we can control ourselves then we have no need to try to control another person, because our self control will come across as a feeling of confidence and power. When a person has the confidence which comes from self government that person is respected and looked up to. Then control isn’t really necessary.
So, if we want to inspire our children or friends to have more self control then we need to be the example. The more self control we have the more our children will want to respect us and want to be around us.
Every time I am with a group of young people I am one of the most strict, or principled, adults the youth have met. Most adults would think this is not a good impression to a group of young people, but I have found the result on the young people to be just the opposite. Young people respect me and flock to me. They see I am a fun person, but also a very controlled, principled person as well. They often times respect me more than they respect other adults who are just there for a laugh or going along for the ride. They feel that I stand for something and that I really believe in doing something about what I stand for.
Self control, and personal statement makes an honest person. The youth know what they will get with me and they know what the expectations are. And, my expectations are high. They like that too. People like to be around honest people. They feel safe and inspired.
The only real control and real power we have is self control. When Benjamin Franklin was a young man he noticed thirteen things he didn’t like about himself and made a list of them. Then he took his list and one by one conquered each of the flaws on the list. He practiced self control. Since he practiced self control he was powerful. He was able to have influence in many nations. There was no man in the Americas more respected then Benjamin Franklin, save maybe George Washington, who was another amazing example of self government.
Take control of your home and your happiness by choosing to control yourself. No more excuses. We all need to recognize that we are the key to our own happiness and our family’s desire for self control.
There is a myth out there which suggests that parents need to figure out all the hard stuff alone. You don’t. I wrote this parenting book, even though I am not a professional writer, because I want to help.
My family changed when I changed myself. When I learned the skills for effective parenting and communication, all my family and social relationships improved. The book is what I found out when I was parenting difficult foster youth in my home, and what has led my home to be a happy place filled with the spirit of love.
Get a copy of Parenting A House United today. It was meant for parents like me who need to keep focused on their own self-government so that they can teach self-government principles to their children too. I hope the principles help you too.
Congratulations to Kendra for winning our FREE giveaway copy of A House United. Thanks to all who participated. It’s evident that many of us need the wonderful principles that Nicholeen teaches.
What has helped you have more self-control in your home? Have you noticed rewards from exercising self-control?