Ten Little Miracles: We have been waiting, watching and hoping that Raquel would recover and bounce back from surgery as she did before, but we are having to re-adjust our expectations once again. My husband suspects that the pressure that had built up from the failed shunt pushed the dense tumor matter farther down on her brain stem, and that it’s preventing her from moving and communicating much.
But with so many prayers being said on Raquel’s behalf, I know there undoubtably have been miracles and that we will continue to experience miracles as our time here goes on. I am trying to be more aware of them. The first little miracle I experienced was being well rested after staying at my uncle’s house, and being well-nourished with the morning whole-food smoothie, despite staying up late creating a post to update everyone on Raquel’s status 🙂
Miracle number two– was all the many people that reached out in love with their words, thoughts, prayers, fasting and offers to help our family during this time of struggle. I felt so many hugs, real and virtual, and feel grateful for that. It fills my cup so that I can give support to others who need it as much as I do. And indeed I had the opportunity in the afternoon, as I chatted with a girl whose mother has experienced the same type of illness as our daughter. We were both uplifted.
Miracle number three– when I arrived at the hospital they informed me that they had been reducing the pressure of airflow in Raquel’s respirator and she was doing just fine. They continued to reduce it today and tonight to gently wean her off and help her body work more strongly on its own. Her oxygen level is 99%, and her right lung is looking good.
Miracle number four– we were able to get the feeding tube in through her nose to where it needed to be. It took several tries and was uncomfortable to her, but we finally had success. Through the discomfort, I noticed some tears being squeezed out of Raquel’s eyes and felt so bad for her pain. But part of me was a little glad to see that tiny sign from her that was not my imagination.
Miracle number five– was that my sister and son Nathan, were able to drive our children up to stay with friends for the weekend. Our friends had tickets to a speedway were they were showing off some fancy cars and are three older boys were absolutely thrilled. My heart was comforted to know that they were happy and making some good memories. I am grateful for the joy that comes from strong friendships. And spending time with loved ones.
Miracle number six, as I was going about my tasks of caring for Raquel and making various arrangements, checking messages, I received a message from a sweet girl who had stayed with us for several months and became a dear friend. She was in Salt Lake and wanted to come visit. I told her yes, to please come. I had forgotten how funny she was, and the power of humor as a good remedy. She cheered me up immediately and when I took her in to see Raquel she proceeded to talk, chat and make jokes with her. She even played her some of her favorite music. It brought so much lightness to my heart. When she finally said goodbye, I noticed another little tear squeezing out of Raquel’s eye.
Miracle number seven– was that we had a wonderful meeting with the doc in charge for the weekend. She was extremely helpful and educating us about some options we had not even considered. She was very compassionate and assured us they would be fully willing to work with us and cooperate with the natural treatments we wanted to provide for our daughter. I was so relieved to hear it, because up until then I had not been sure I would have that level of cooperation. I am already seeing the benefits of that agreement as they are allowing me to use oils, herbs and the nutrition that I want to be giving to her. It is a great comfort to my heart that I can’t even express to know that she is able to have these additional tools working for her even in the pediatric ICU.
Miracle number eight– is that they allowed us to have more than one person in the room when Mike’s sister and her niece and nephew came to visit. They were very sad to see her condition and we again noticed tears in her eyes after they expressed their love. The love and concern of family members can be so powerful and so healing. We were also able to get an exception that all of our children come could come visit her tomorrow before they go home. We are so looking forward to having them all there to sing and pray together. I am going now to stay the night with them, and visit with them in the morning before I return to Raquel’s side.
Miracle number nine– as we were wrapping up our evening, Mike began to joke a little bit with Raquel and talk to her about watching movies versus singing. He decided to sing her some lullabies and got a little choked up. When that happened we again saw tears coming from Raquel’s eyes and we know for certainty that she can see, understand and feel. We know that she is frustrated, being in her body which is unable to function the way she wants it to and so limited in allowing her to move and communicate. We want to find solutions for her as soon as we possibly can.
Miracle number ten– is that we know the power of heaven surrounds us. We know that our Father in Heaven loves us and is aware of our trials and challenges. We know that his son Jesus Christ, suffered not only for our sins but also for our sorrows. He knows perfectly how to comfort and carry us through all our tribulation, while still allowing us to learn and grow. And I know that his Holy Spirit will guide us as we seek to help our daughter through this challenging time and to know what course of action will be best for her.