Our dear daughter and sister, Raquel Wilson, just passed away from a terminal illness. We are so sad, and already miss her terribly. You can read more about Raquel’s story on my blog HERE. Here’s how Raquel passed…

We believe she had a choice in September of 2014, whether she would stay with us or go to heaven. The doctors did not think she would come out of the surgery and she did suffer a brain trauma from it. We believe she knew how hard it would be. But that she wanted to stay because she did have a chance to make some more memories and to touch more people with her light.

Race Against Time

Over the last couple months as I was trying to save her life. I felt like several things happened that were out of my control. I kept feeling that she had a chance to stay and heal. But it was definitely a race against time in fighting this most aggressive illness she had. There were just enough factors and things I didn’t know that stacked the deck against us. When it was all said and done, I really felt that it had been the Lord’s plan for her to leave. Raquel and I were both stubborn and didn’t want it to happen. I wanted to keep fighting, but when she was gone I realized what a huge relief it was for me and especially for her.

I had prayed that God would prepare us and give us time to say goodbye. With many tender mercies, he answered my prayers. My parents had come to stay with us for just a few days, and their timing was impeccable. It was a great blessing to have them there. The previous afternoon, we had taken her to St. George for some medical appointments. She was so tired and weak. I felt sorry to have to drag her around in the heat and put her through it. But my husband came and met us, and she was able to repeat the words that she said so many times before, “I love you so much, I love you so much.”

Sweetest Moment

It was a sweet, sweet moment that we were able to connect with her, in love. After that appointment was done, and Mike helped us get her back into the car. He left to return to our children in Cedar city for the night and my parents returned with Raquel and I to Mesquite.

A couple nights before she had thrown up a little food after we fed her in the evening. We were worried that she had aspirated a little into her right lung. And that it was going to compromise her strength and respiratory system. That night before she passed, she threw up a few more times, and it worried me even more.

I called Mike and he suggested we put her on her right side so that the less-likely-affected left lung would function better. We had a suction machine that I was using to suction out some of the mucus she had in her nose and throat. That she was not able to spit out. She still had some paralysis in her cheek, mouth and throat from the last surgery in September. Which made it difficult, if not impossible, for her to get the mucus out of her throat.

I fought my hardest for Raquel’s life, but when I realized that she was getting really distressed and might not make it. So I called my husband up in Cedar city and told him to get in the car with the kids and come right then. They arrived at the perfect time. They didn’t have to watch her struggle as long as I did. We are able to sing songs to her as she was taking her last breaths.

Her Last Breath

Even then I was still not going to give up. I asked my husband if he thought her brain function was all the way gone. He believed it was, as her pupils had been unresponsive and different sizes for several hours. For the past month, her jaw had been clenched shut but sometime in the early morning, it had loosened and opened. But she had still been responsive. I thought perhaps there was still one more thing I could do to help her. So I asked my family to go out of the room for a few minutes. As soon as they were out of the room, she immediately stopped breathing. I gently called them all back in to give her one last kiss and say goodbye.

My husband came and gave me a big hug and told me not to fret or worry about what had happened. He assured me that I had done all I could for her, and that now she needed to be in a better place. Mike helped me let her go. For me, at that moment, it was a bittersweet goodbye. But for my other family members, it was a loving, happy goodbye. They had not had to watch her day-to-day in her decline. They had not had to experience the worry and the sadness of those two months, seeing her get weaker and weaker. I think the Lord was preparing us, preparing them to not have her around. And preparing me to be ready to not have her suffer any longer.

Heavenly Father’s Plan

Once she was gone, I couldn’t help but shed tears all that day and the next. But every hour after her death gave me greater feelings of relief for myself and for her, and also greater understanding. I realized that it really was our Heavenly Father’s plan for her to return to him. But that He had gifted us an entire extra year with her, to make some amazing memories. To share her love with so many, and to prepare to give her back to Him.

God taught us so much, about so many different things. I received a huge education in health. We feel that if she had had any other type of illness, with all the things we did for her, we would have knocked it out of the park. But hers was one of the most aggressive and pernicious of illnesses. The majority of people don’t live more than one year. And we felt that we really were blessed to have her as long as we did. Those who know me, know I am a big believer in natural remedies. In this case, radiation therapy definitely helped extend her life, and for that I am grateful.

Raquel Was A Great Example

But more importantly then all the knowledge I gained about healing, we learned so much about loving. We were able to experience the grandest out-pouring of love from so many people, time and time again over this year.  And we learned about true compassion and service, because we experienced it. We were the recipients of so many thoughtful messages and acts of love. People visited, brought flowers and gifts, sent loving messages on Facebook, brought food to our family, invited my kids over to play, cleaned our house, and so many more things that I can’t list them all. I wrote a whole blog post about it (here).

Raquel was a huge example to me through all this, as she patiently worked through her trials and never complained. It was only one time that I remember, with one of the myriad of tough things she endured, that she said the words, “this is so, so hard.” That was it. She never said it again. She never complained or asked, “why me?” As my husband said, she soldiered through the challenge that was ahead of her, with determination and positive attitude. She was an example and inspiration to us, a true warrior princess.

Read about Raquel Wilson’s Memorial Services HERE